Last week, we had to sent baby Aqil to JB since my mom also need to go back to Ipoh...then the babysitter also said that she cant take care of Aqil coz her husband also works in the day and nobody to help her to take care of the babies since she's taking care a 10mnths old baby, her own son 4 yrs old and her daughter 5 yrs old...Aqil pulak jenis susah nak tido...emmm at last as per my FIL advice I need to leave Aqil at JB so that he'll in be in safe hands...that I'm sure but what I can't tolerate is staying away from Aqil...a week will be like 100 days and now may be I need to tolerate one more week coz my Mom will be away to Terengganu and nobody will take care of Aqil...Syasya is now under my 2nd brother's supervision...my 3rd brother Adhwa dah balik Ipoh...
Last Saturday was a very difficult moment for me...making sure Aqil accept formula milk is the hardest thing coz my intention was to try fully BF him until he's 2 yrs old...but now I had to do otherwise...at first he rejected and become cranky but after a little while he began to accept Anmum step 1...i tasted it too..the taste is better than Snow or S26...before I went back to KL, I managed to express some BM for Aqil but its not enough for a week storage...now that I'm always thinking about him...my BM increased and I had a lot of it to store in the freezer...hope to give him once I got to see him...I don't know how to describe my feelings but I felt incomplete, lost and depressed....Syasya also cried when she found out Aqil's not coming back with us....lucky she was asleep that day and realized only when we arrived KL...she cried and keep mentioning that 'Kakak sayang Aqil....'...where's Aqil Wildan...huhuuuu I thought may be she'll okey coz sometimes she's jealous of Aqil..rupanya sayang gak dia kat adik dia...sampai nak tido malam tu dok sebut-sebut...nak amik Aqil....emmm kalo Syasya sedih Mama lagi sedih....
Emm nak selit sikit about the babysitter/neighbour yang jaga Aqil haritu, i'm indebted indeed to her coz she took care of Aqil about a week but she's a bit naive about BM and said why I didn't give formula milk to my baby coz it's troublesome bla..bla....pelik bila stock susu aku bagi boleh ada lebih bila aku ambil Aqil blk dr keje, dia ckp dia ajar Aqil susu formula...emm aku terdiam and x bole nak ckp aper....emm I don't know how to explain lagi ...coz malas nak bertekak, dia dah ada anak 3, aku baru 2, apa yg aku tau I want the best for my baby..supaya dia lebih sihat, antibodi kuat., smtr aku masih boleh produce susu ibu, apa salahnya kan, walaupon Aqil xmo direct feeding, yg penting susu aku sendiri...my effort nak express semua....dan mcm2 lagilah...org lain x paham....sampai kat sekolah pon walau mcmana penat or sibuk mesti aku x ponteng sesi perahan....emm org sibuk kat sek bwk laptop, aku bwk machine pump susu...walaupun Aqil skrg kat JB, aku masih mengexpress susu dan aku akan still buat mcm tu...kalaupun xde fully BF dia....campur pon xperlah coz aku dah berjaya 7 months fullly BF Aqil ..yg penting 7 months pertama tu x campur...emmm x kisahlah apa org nak kata...yg penting I know what I'm doing...lagi satu, mana lah aku tau nak kena pisah dgn anak mcm ni, ingatkan maid baru cpt sampai......emmm skrg ni mmglah lebih teratur sebab jaga anak sorg, smpt masak, kemas umah, tapi hati x tenang.....rindu sgt2...minggu ni pulak sabtu ada kursus perkembangan staff, tak taulah smpt ke tak nak blk JB jenguk Aqil....hati ni rasa tersiat-siat...cam tak tau nak explain....tapi aku tau Aqil dijaga dgn baik oleh keluarga mentua, masa tepon sure dgr suara Aqil ketawa....huhuuu Aqil, Mama miss you so much....can't wait to hug and kiss you..........mmmuah.......jgn lupakan Mama tau......huhuuuu....
Picture ni Kakak tlg Mama nak buat storage susu Mama...emm hopefully dugaan ni akan berakhir dan kami sekeluarga akan reunited and be together again...Amin...