Last week, we had to sent baby Aqil to JB since my mom also need to go back to Ipoh...then the babysitter also said that she cant take care of Aqil coz her husband also works in the day and nobody to help her to take care of the babies since she's taking care a 10mnths old baby, her own son 4 yrs old and her daughter 5 yrs old...Aqil pulak jenis susah nak tido...emmm at last as per my FIL advice I need to leave Aqil at JB so that he'll in be in safe hands...that I'm sure but what I can't tolerate is staying away from Aqil...a week will be like 100 days and now may be I need to tolerate one more week coz my Mom will be away to Terengganu and nobody will take care of Aqil...Syasya is now under my 2nd brother's supervision...my 3rd brother Adhwa dah balik Ipoh...
Last Saturday was a very difficult moment for me...making sure Aqil accept formula milk is the hardest thing coz my intention was to try fully BF him until he's 2 yrs old...but now I had to do otherwise...at first he rejected and become cranky but after a little while he began to accept Anmum step 1...i tasted it too..the taste is better than Snow or S26...before I went back to KL, I managed to express some BM for Aqil but its not enough for a week storage...now that I'm always thinking about him...my BM increased and I had a lot of it to store in the freezer...hope to give him once I got to see him...I don't know how to describe my feelings but I felt incomplete, lost and depressed....Syasya also cried when she found out Aqil's not coming back with us....lucky she was asleep that day and realized only when we arrived KL...she cried and keep mentioning that 'Kakak sayang Aqil....'...where's Aqil Wildan...huhuuuu I thought may be she'll okey coz sometimes she's jealous of Aqil..rupanya sayang gak dia kat adik dia...sampai nak tido malam tu dok sebut-sebut...nak amik Aqil....emmm kalo Syasya sedih Mama lagi sedih....
Emm nak selit sikit about the babysitter/neighbour yang jaga Aqil haritu, i'm indebted indeed to her coz she took care of Aqil about a week but she's a bit naive about BM and said why I didn't give formula milk to my baby coz it's troublesome bla..bla....pelik bila stock susu aku bagi boleh ada lebih bila aku ambil Aqil blk dr keje, dia ckp dia ajar Aqil susu formula...emm aku terdiam and x bole nak ckp aper....emm I don't know how to explain lagi ...coz malas nak bertekak, dia dah ada anak 3, aku baru 2, apa yg aku tau I want the best for my baby..supaya dia lebih sihat, antibodi kuat., smtr aku masih boleh produce susu ibu, apa salahnya kan, walaupon Aqil xmo direct feeding, yg penting susu aku sendiri...my effort nak express semua....dan mcm2 lagilah...org lain x paham....sampai kat sekolah pon walau mcmana penat or sibuk mesti aku x ponteng sesi perahan....emm org sibuk kat sek bwk laptop, aku bwk machine pump susu...walaupun Aqil skrg kat JB, aku masih mengexpress susu dan aku akan still buat mcm tu...kalaupun xde fully BF dia....campur pon xperlah coz aku dah berjaya 7 months fullly BF Aqil ..yg penting 7 months pertama tu x campur...emmm x kisahlah apa org nak kata...yg penting I know what I'm doing...lagi satu, mana lah aku tau nak kena pisah dgn anak mcm ni, ingatkan maid baru cpt sampai......emmm skrg ni mmglah lebih teratur sebab jaga anak sorg, smpt masak, kemas umah, tapi hati x tenang.....rindu sgt2...minggu ni pulak sabtu ada kursus perkembangan staff, tak taulah smpt ke tak nak blk JB jenguk Aqil....hati ni rasa tersiat-siat...cam tak tau nak explain....tapi aku tau Aqil dijaga dgn baik oleh keluarga mentua, masa tepon sure dgr suara Aqil ketawa....huhuuu Aqil, Mama miss you so much....can't wait to hug and kiss you..........mmmuah.......jgn lupakan Mama tau......huhuuuu....
Picture ni Kakak tlg Mama nak buat storage susu Mama...emm hopefully dugaan ni akan berakhir dan kami sekeluarga akan reunited and be together again...Amin...
16 comments:
ya Allah mai..
i dun know how to react when i read this entry of urs.. seriously speechless. i know that words cannot comfort the distress that u have now..
one after another Allah tested all of u.. tapi there must be a reason beside this test..
selagi mai sabar akan dugaan yang diberi.. Tuhan akan membalasnya dengan balasan yg setimpal.. sabar yer mai...
i have 2 kids too.. but i can't imagine of away from my kids.. rasa cam incomplete..
and again.. sabar yer mai... hang in there..
I know how u feel about not being complete tu. That's how i felt masa first time bagi a'aliya formula milk. Tak pe, what I learn is that yg penting bukan kehendak kita tapi apa yg terbaik utk anak. Campur pun tak pe Mai, as long as Aqil sihat.
Actually just a suggestion la, probably good if syasya can stay with her brother coz i think she is feeling lost without her brother tapi tak tau nak ckp mcmana. Itu pun klu atuk n nenek dia sanggup nak jaga 2 org la. And its good for you to take time off from the kids once in a while. Jadi couple balik instead of parents. Good for the relationship too. Happy mommy makes happy children :)
..hmmm sayu aku nengok si syasya dok tolong nko susun susu untuk Aqil..sabar ye mai..mmg sunyi rase bile berpisah nih...bercelaru perasaan tuh...lebih lebih lagi nko masih menyusukan dier.....dorang nih sbnrnyer sayang kat adik dier tp bile die nengok kiter bagi perhatian lebih kat adik dier ..mesti jeles nyer....
aku salute lah nko....lama nko bagi BF kat Aqil walaupun berjauhan ko tetap produce the milk....mmg aku tau tak semua org yg cekal nak layan bebudak yg breastfeeding nih..ye lah leceh ko...nak kena panaskan...tu yg leceh tuh kan....kalau formula ko terus bancuh terus bagi kan...
takper mai be positive...perpisahan sementara ni adalah temporary jek...Allah nak nko break kejap...bibik ko baru balik..pastu ko nak kena cope balik ngan keje nko...atur balik household chores.....ko nyer breastmilk pon dah byk kan....itu tandanya mind ko tuh dah calm ckit cuma perasaan rindu ngan aqil jek yg masih menebal...(eceh)...nanti bile ko jumpa dier ko pelok dier kuat kuat...ko gomol dier puas puas tau....skang nih ko rehat kan ckit mind ko yek ...biler semua dah okay mesti ko akan bersama semula.....sabar tau....Take care dear....(pssst...biler aku ade mase aku tipon ko nak bagi resepi porridge utk Aqil before he comes back! tata!)
berlesung pipit si Aqil nih comel...badan nier mase nih semangat ko...tp anak anak ko mmg semangat lah mase baby......comel! sedih aku nengok gambo dier ngan syasya.....
sabarrr yer mai.... kalo aku pon pisah ngn anak rasa 'empty'.. tatau nak ckp cemana... kosong jek rasa!! nasib kakak syasya ada...heheheh... mintak2 cpt ler sampai maid ko..jd cpt sket aqil leh balik sini.... byk nyer BM ko mai.. bagus2.... jgn pening2 lagi ok.... kejap jer tuh..... gipon hati tenang sbb PIL yg jaga...
sedey pulak nury baca entry mai kali ni.....sabarnyer mai.Tuhan nak menguji kite.Memang rindu ape klau berjauhan ngan anak.Even nury yg duk office ni pun tak sabar2 nak balik jumpa anak & nk bf kan dia..ni apatah lg mai yg berjauhan ngan anak selama seminggu.Tapi respectla kat mai sbb boleh produce bm yg byk & fully bf lagi smp 7mon.Nury ni pulak malas nk pump hehehe takut kendur la katakan so time kerja memang tak pump biler balik baru bg direct.Itu yg mukhlish dh campur ngan formula milk.Apa-apa pun sabar ye mai...
If only my Bibik can take another baby to take care of...I would love to take Aqil to stay at my place when you're off to work tapi I'm very doubtful of my Bibik's capacity. With Zahra in place pun dia dah kelam kabut with the other house work. Tapi Mai, kalau u really need help to leave Syasya at my place in the future, please do so. I wonder kenapa you tak hantar Aqil ke Taska ye?
hi mai, sedihnya..sabar ye...mesti sedih sgt being away from your baby...tapi maybe thats the best for your family... bila agaknya bibik baru awak dtg? syasya sure miss aqil. take care dear.
isy, isy...being away from our babies is always a heart wrenching experience. Congrats on still being able to breastfeed Aqil though. Jelesnya tengok banyak EBM dalam botol, hopefully I'll be able to do the same for my baby.
ala jgn la sedey nanti kiter pun sedey ...mai kiter tahu cam na awak rasa tapi sebab away from Aqil n plus misti awak bertambah windu bila susu duk penuh n dada berdenyut denyut kan . Tak pa la Mai ...mai simpan banyak banyak stok susu untuk Aqil . Tgk siap ada assistant lagi .
im so proud of u Mai ...sebab mai dapat fully BF Aqil sampai dia umor 6 bln ....chaiyook Mai . Mmg buley di jadikan contoh . Gigih plak tew bangun malam malam perah susu ....tabikssssssssssssssss
Mai jgn sedey sedey ya ...hope maid mai cepat cepat sampai ...n harap maid baru nih pun baik cam bibik lama
mai... lenny pon sedeihh.. aduhai.... mesti rasa lain kan bila baby takder.. walaupon baby banyak dijaga bibik.. tapi kita taud ier ada depan mata kita... tapi bila takder.. mesti rasa lain..
lenny doakan bibik baru cepat sampai.... take care tau maii..
chaiyok2.. selamat mempump susu yerrr...
sedih nyer berpisah dgn baby...i cannot imagine if i were in your place.... :(
Salam,
Tumpang iklan....
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TQ
Mama...besok kita balik JB ek..tlg Aqil... rinddu gak kat dia...mlm tadi dpt 3G call tgk dia pun lega sket rasanya...
Thanks to all friends for yr concern...lega bila dpt luahkan apa yg terbuku di hati...harap dugaan ini akan berakhir, insyallah bsk nak gak jenguk dia walopun ada kursus...pas kursus/Asar straight away to JB...emm Kak Jo, Syasya x mau tinggal kat kg,dia nak Mama n Papa but she wants her bro too...tapi she's doing fine now, mula2 jek tanya tapi skrg dia dah ok sikit, dia punya style nak dok umah sendiri gak, pi umah org ke taska ke, teruk melalak...
Kak Muffy, at first i nak hantar ke taska tapi i dah survey kat area umah i and my school, not up to my expectation, ada ramai sgt baby, risau dorang take for granted my kids sbb cuma tumpang seminggu dua kan...lgpon dah my FIL request nak jaga cucu dia, kami pon jarang dpt blk kg, ni lah time dorang dpt bermanja ngan cucu...by next week Insyallah the new maid will arrive and my mom will monitor her...doakan semua nya okey...tq guys
Zaimi: Yes Pa, thanks a lot for understanding, nak blk next week terlalu lama tak tgk dia...xpelah abis duit n tenaga, asalkan dpt tgk anak....
xpelah mai bersusah2 dahulu bersenang2 kemudian...suka tgk syasya dah pandai tlg mama dia...aritu dpt jumpa mai n syasya sekejap jer...rindulahh...ada masa singgahlah rumah..pintu sentiasa terbuka buat rakan2...
byk2 kan bersabar nyer mai... ohhh is really hard to say anything kan but i know u a very strong mummy and aqil know it too dear... so this wknd u balik kpg drive carefully yeah... take care btw syasya a gud sister she love her little bro... :D
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